Living The Kingdom

Given the current fervor over health care and the possible descent of our country into pure socialism, we must keep our eye on who we serve and the purpose of our lives. As a former Protestant I was taught that the world would end soon and Jesus' return was right around the corner. A little bit of research shows that this way of thinking has been around for 2000 years.

Because of this way of thinking many believers put off getting married, or having children, even refusing to do any thing including work because Jesus would be here soon and put everything right. Tragically, productive abundant filled living became fodder for a pessimistic view of the world. We are called to a higher view.

The Kingdom of God is not something that will be ushered in at the return of Christ, although it certainly will be so, it is the realm we as Christians must live now. His Kingdom must be lived now if the present world is to be changed for the good. We are not called to wait for the Kingdom to come, we are called to live it day by day showing the people of the world the love of Christ.

For far to long Christians have been content to sit in the pews on Sunday and then live the rest of the week without power to change. Our faith is an active faith. Living the Sermon on the Mount is not something that magically will happen just because we believe in Jesus. Many tune out the Holy Spirit which calls to mind the will of the Lord. We must actively live in accord with it as St. James said "faith without works is dead." The Kingdom of God is living according to God's word. Our way is an optimistic way. Listen for the Holy Spirit and live before your King as a loyal subject who desires to do His will.

Patience Is A Virtue

The body and blood of Christ is the most sacred part of the Mass. The Eucharist is the reason I want to go to Mass, even though I have yet to become confirmed. Each Sunday my yearning for Christ in the Eucharist becomes more and more unbearable. I know what it means to consume the actual body and blood of Christ and the graces involved, but alas I must wait before I can partake of His table.

Now my patience is assaulted as I move through the RCIA process. I have studied Catholicism for two years prior to attending my first Mass as well as beginning the RCIA process. The questions I had about Catholicism as a former Protestant have been answered to my satisfaction. Areas where I am not sure about I'm perfectly comfortable to accept the Catholic Church's teaching. So I'm ready, but alas I must wait.

When the time comes for me to take my first communion I am sure I'm going to "loose it." Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I almost think the RCIA process is suppose to be a long process on purpose to create the yearning of the heart for the table of the Lord. Patience is a virtue. Mine as a school teacher is tried every day so I'm used to waiting for things to happen or progress to be made from my students, but waiting to partake the Lord is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It hurts. Lord forgive me for my impatience and strengthen my resolve to wait on your schedule and remove any bitterness that may rear it's ugly head.

What Happened To My First Love? Conclusion

So after my baptism in the Worldwide Church of God I became invovled with the stuff of church. I found myself more concerned with doing the right "church stuff" that Jesus became a second issue. I no longer talked with Him like I did before. Maybe it was because I was now going to church and felt I had now been baptized correctly that I didn't need Him anymore.

After 12 years of WCG stuff and the changes that occured (see posting on Crossing the Tiber) I left the WCG. I and my wife (now ex-wife, that's another issue) and children began to look for another church. This wasn't easy because my wife grew up in the WCG, I didn't. She stayed at the WCG for two more years while I stayed at home. Finally she left and we began looking for a church that we could agree on. Once we did I became involved, but she didn't. After two years we left and found another church. I became involved, she didn't so she left and I stayed. All this time I was never satisfied. I felt something was missing. Finally I quit going to church too.

A friend of mine from the last church I attended left and formed a bible study group which I began to attend. But something still wasn't adding up. All this time I kept waiting for someone or thing to give me a definite answer on the truth. I became annoyed at all the different scripture interpretations I was hearing. I wanted it to stop. Somewhere there had to be a final authority that said this is what it means and nothing else. Anybody could do that, but there was no authority behind it. Whose authority could I trust. So I decided to go back to the beginning of the Christian church to find who had the authority to say this is it. During this search I found myself being poked from the corner (the corner I put Jesus in, see previous post). Jesus said "I'm over here, remember me? You and I used to be close. I tried to show you where you needed to be, but you left me to do your own church thing. I'm glad you are coming back to me so we can continue our conversation. You are now heading in the right direction, keep on coming, the true Feast is awaiting you."

My first love is back. I can hear his voice again, though it be faint I'm walking and talking to him once more. I long for the day we can be together at his table in the form of the Eucharist. Thanks Jesus for calling me home.

Why Argue?

I have found it difficult to hold conversations with some of my Protestant friends who desparately want me not to convert to Catholicism. They continue to want to argue their points but have no place to listen to my own. So I choose not to argue anymore. I just tell them "my 2000 years trumps your 500 years. You (Protestants) decided to leave in 1517. The church did not leave you. I just came back home. You can do the same."

Just Another Reason The Truth Still Lies With The Catholic Church

I normally don't comment on stuff like this, but here goes. The Catholic Church is a staunch defender of the Word of God. They do not compromise the Word of God to fit current societal morals. The Lutheran church's stance on openly gay clergy is a prime example of perversion. Yes all churches, Protestant and Catholic have their share of "closet" gays and sinners, but the Catholic church will not pervert or change the Word of God to sanction open sin but calls those to repentance. The Lutheran Church now joins with the Episcopal Church in their perversion. Repent! Or risk damnation.

What Happen To My First Love? Part 4

It was the spring semester of 1989. I still had a few classes left to take before I could graduate the coming spring (1990) from college. I had put off taking the only required Math class I needed to graduate several times. Everytime I signed up for the class I would end up dropping it because I couldn't pass the first test. Now I had to pass it if I wanted to graduate in the spring and I wasn't ready to give up this time because I needed to move on with my life and take responsibility.

During this time my relationship with Jesus was strong. He walked with me. I spoke to him as if he were right beside me no matter where I went he was there. I told Jesus that I was not going to pass my math class without his help and that I needed him to take over for me because I just couldn't understand half of what I was learning. Jesus responded with mighty help. I passed every test I took and passed the class with a C. When I got my results from my final examine I wept all the way back to my apartment and lay on the floor prostrate praising and giving thanks to God for doing it for me. You see I understood NOTHING! NOTHING! I had NO idea what I was doing on all my math examines, yet my lowest score was an 80. Do you get it? I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING! So the only POSSIBLE way I could pass the class was if Jesus would do it for me. I believe He did! There is no other way to explain it.

My walk with Jesus was incredible. I began seeing things in my life work out for the better each day. Jesus was my best friend. I couldn't stop talking about what He had done for me to anyone who would listen. This was how things were between us. Then I met with the Worldwide Church of God minister to discuss baptism. Once he was sure I understood what the WCG taught and I understood what baptism would do he invited me to church and would baptize me after the service. It was August 12, 1989. It was the greatest day of my life. My first love, Jesus was at it's high point. Now as a member of the Worldwide Church of God I thought I had come home. Little did I know that being a member of the WCG would cause me to forget Jesus and begin to live like an old covenant Pharisee, the very people Jesus denounced.

I began alienating my friends and family. If they weren't a member of the WCG they were going to hell. If they kept Christmas or didn't rest on the TRUE sabbath (Friday evening to Saturday evening) or didn't keep the Jewish Holy days such as Tabernacles, Trumpets and the rest were going to hell as well. Jesus went to a corner somewhere waiting for me to come back to him. This blog is my journey on how I found Jesus in the corner waiting for me.

Stay tuned for more.

What Happened To My First Love? Part 3

The name of the TV program was "The World Tomorrow." It was put on by the Worldwide Church of God. What intrigued me most was their willingness to offer a subscription to their monthly magazine, "The Plain Truth" and booklets elaborating the subject covered by the program FREE of charge. At that time no religious organization on TV offered anything for free. This was also during the time televangelists were in trouble like the PTL club, Jimmy Swaggart and all the others. So the WCG to me was honest and upfront. So I subscribed to their magazine and ordered their booklets. I devoured them. I couldn't get enough. I even purchased a study bible. I devoured the Bible. I couldn't get enough. My walk with Christ was rekindled from my teen days (see previous posts).

I repented, stopped the partying and buckled down with my college studies and graduated. I walked from my apartment each day to campus and back again talking to Jesus, or listening to the word on my Sony Walkman (remember those?). Christ had never left me. That's why I couldn't stay a Hindu or a muslim or an atheist. The Holy Spirit was there the whole time. Soon I became aware through my reading of WCG literature that I really didn't have the Holy Spirit (because at that time I didn't know I still had him), according to WCG I had been baptized incorrectly (I was poured in the Methodist Church, see previous posts) and I needed to be rebaptized (according to them I had to be fully immersed and have hands laid on me to receive the Holy Spirit) so I sought out a WCG minister. One contacted me and we met. I was so excited. Soon I would be baptized and I could begin going to the local congregation of the WCG. Little did I know at that time I was on the road to losing my first love...Jesus.

Stay tuned for more.

What Happened To My First Love? Part 2

The year was 1984. I had already spent three years in college drifting around for direction. I am a trumpet player and at the time I was spending most of my time playing in every ensemble I could in the music department even though I wasn't a music major. I had told myself I would never be a band director because there was no money in it, so I looked at various majors and tried them out to see what I was most interested in, even though I was a music major in all but name.

I really didn't like myself much at this point because of all the partying and irresponsible behavior I was exhibiting. I needed a savior. I needed Christ, but at that time in my life I had already experienced that and had a bad taste for it all (see my last post for why). So began my spiritual journey. Around this time, 1984-85 the movie Ghandi came out and I was moved by it and so I became interested in Mahattma Ghandi. Which in turn led me to his religion, Hinduism. I decided to give Hinduism a try.

The first thing I did was buy what is considered by Hindu's their holy book among many called the Bhavigad Gita. The main god of the Hindu's was Krishna. I say main god because Hinduism is polytheistic. I began worshiping Krishna by burning incense and praying to a painting that depicted Krishna. I also began believing in reincarnation because Hindus do. All of this began to just feel downright wrong. I could not feel any sense of fulfillment. I still felt empty. The more I studied about Eastern religion the more I couldn't believe what they were teaching. None of it made sense. So after about a year of this I decided to abandon Hinduism because it was dead and empty. In retrospect I can remember the Holy Spirit saying "what are you doing, Jesus is the way!" the whole time I was "practcing" the Hindu religion. Of course at the time I had no idea it was the Holy Spirit telling me that. I just assumed it was my guilty conscience warning me to stop.

My next stop on my spiritual journey led to Islam, that's right Islam. I bought a Koran at a yard sale and began reading. One of the first things that troubled me about the Koran was that none of it made sense. The reason was that the book was not in any specific order and was very chaotic. I spent less time in Islam as I did in Hinduism because Allah seemed to be schizophrenic. This was not for me. And again it all felt wrong anyway. So I put my spiritual journey on hold and went back to partying and wasting time.

After four years of college I had nothing to show for my progress. I had become a business major, a political science major, and an engineering tech major. I had passed several classes toward any degree but dropped or withdrew from the rest. All the while playing in every instrumental ensemble I could. So I finally wised up and said screw the money music is where my heart is so I became a music education major training to become what I at first said I never would, a band director. The partying never stopped however.

Then in 1987 (I was in college from 1981 to 1990) sitting alone in my apartment on a Sunday morning I began flipping through the channels on the TV and came across this program that appeared at first to be a news program so I stopped and began watching. I soon found out that it was not a news program but a Christian program talking about prophecy and the end of the world as it related to current events. I was hooked. I watched the entire program.

Stay tuned for more....

What Happened To My First Love?

My parents took my sister and I to the United Methodist church while we were children. It was important to them that we were exposed to God and moral teaching. I don't remember much about those years other than playing Joseph in the Christmas play every year, not looking forward to Vacation Bible School (it was because school was in the title and summer you were not supposed to go to school), a few youth group trips and finally my meetings with the Pastor and subsequent baptism (age 12). After my baptism the Pastor said something to me, that shortly led to my leaving the church altogether. He told me that because of my baptism I would no longer sin again. In retrospect I now know what he meant by that, but then I realized those words were not true as I understood them then because I soon sinned again. Little did he realize those words caused me to leave the church and forget about Christ. I thought I had been lied to, so I wanted no part of it anymore.

So while I was in Junior High and High School I never graced the door of a church. My parents reason for going to church was for my sister and I to get a moral teaching. When I quit or no longer wanted to go anymore they quit as well (along with my sister). My parents to date are not interested in religion. They don't want to talk about it only to say they both have made their peace with God, whatever that means. When I started college I got caught up in the party scene and wasted my time there, all the while feeling a tug to return to God, not necessarily Christ but a creator of all. Thus began my TRUE search for meaning of life, why I did the things I did and does God exist as well as whose religion is the true one.

Stay tuned to my next post, this will be handled in different posts because the story is rather long.

Crossing the Tiber, Conclusion

I would like to clear up what might be confusion on a time issue in my last post. The time between my leaving Fellowship Baptist and attending my first Mass was 5 years. My first Mass was over a month ago.

Now to rap up my journey to the present. About two years ago, I'm not sure, maybe more, it was when Pope Benedict came to the United States, I began exploring Catholicism. In fact it began after I saw the Pope's outdoor Mass on television when he came to visit. Being Protestant, especially being exposed to the pre-mill. dispensationalist view, I was taught that the Pope was the antichrist and that the Catholic church was the beast. What I saw in Pope Benedict was not an antichrist, but a sincere loving committed Christian. Now for you Protestants out there who would then throw up the Scripture "the devil can be disguised as an angel of light" or the saying "beware of wolves in sheep's clothing" as an excuse to watch out and not be deceived need to swallow your words...they don't apply here. Have you heard the man speak or read any of his writings!? This man does not demand worship, he is not setting himself up as a christ. Besides all of this is moot because John already said antichrist's were present in his day and dispensationalists are misguided anyway with their eschatology. But I digress once again.

Now back to the story. For the past two years I have read and researched anything I could get my hands on to disprove my sudden longing for the Catholic Church. Because I had been indoctrinated (not educated) against the Catholic Church for so long it made me nervous to be exploring it. I had to throw out my preconceived ideas and go at it with a blank slate. Could Roman Catholicism stand on it's own and could it actually be the Church Christ founded when he "gave the keys" to Peter? Is this the true church of God? And if so, should I become a member? These questions I set out to answer.

A college buddy of mine who is Catholic (who has been very helpful in my journey) suggested I read Scott Hahn's book "Rome Sweet Home" which I did. Reading Scott's book and viewing Mass on EWTN helped tremendously in understanding what Catholics believe and really do. Another book by David Currie, "Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic" filled in the spots Scott Hahn's book did not address. After completing those books the veil began to come off my face and the scales came off my eyes. I began living as a Catholic, before ever attending a Mass. Finally I could stand it no longer. I had to make the move. The burden of not acting would not go away so I called my local parish priest and we met. He was very warm and kind. I told him what I had been reading and where I stood. He told me the first thing I should do is come to Mass and see. I haven't looked back since. I continue to go to Mass longing for the day I can receive my first love again at His table!

This concludes this series, which is just a general overview, of Crossing the Tiber. More to follow in different titles on my current spiritual journey.

Crossing the Tiber, Part 4

While at Fellowship Baptist a new family came and began attending. One of my college students knew them and said I should get to know (my best friend) Greg. He said Greg was a Preterist and that a lot of my views Greg held to. Needless to say we became fast friends. Greg hosts a family Bible study which has become a rather large gathering of friends and family. So I began to attend. Greg convinced me through the Scripture the validity of his position on eschatology. I being amill. at the time my pump was primed to understand the Preterist position, which is almost the same as the Catholic position (the Catholic Church is amill. or what some would call Part-Preterist). I hold to the Catholic understanding because the full Preterist standing denies a future return of Christ and I'm not sure that portion of Preterism is true.

Greg and I are still best friends, but he doesn't want me to become Catholic. He is using the same tired excuses that most Protestants are ignorant of, such as "we worship Mary" or "we believe that the bread and wine really become the body and blood of Jesus" (which by the way is a straw man since Scripture doesn't say that it isn't), or "we believe that Tradition and Scripture are treated the same"...hello! Who was it that compiled the Scripture and chose the Scripture in the first place! There is a tiny Scripture they just don't want to take into account, Matthew 16:19 which states, Christ is speaking here to Peter, and in another response to all the disciples "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven." (NIV) That verse puts all the Catholic teaching in it's place since it is a direct line from Peter. Besides Sacred Tradition was the gospels, letters and Apocalypse BEFORE it was canonized! Don't even get me started about the infallibility of the Pope (another misunderstood concept of Protestants). Nothing burns me more than people speaking about things they have no first hand knowledge of, but I digress.

Oh one more thing, you Protestants who are SO against Sacred Tradition tell me...how is Sacred Tradition any different than listening to your pastor every week who renders his own opinion about the Scriptures? Just another straw man.

Now back to my story. I found it hard to continue with Fellowship Baptist since it taught against my eschatological stance AND was extremely Calvinist, so I left and only continued to go to Greg's bible study. But before too long Greg began teaching things that I could not come to grasp with. All this time between leaving Fellowship and my first Mass (over a month ago) I began searching for an end to all things. I was tired of all the various opinions people put forth about their interpretation of Scripture. I wanted a stone that said this is what it means and nothing else. I needed the boundary. I needed a Rock. So I began my journey to find that Rock that said this is as far as it goes, rest in it. Also this Rock had to be authoritative straight from Christ himself! Where did it start? With the Roman Catholic Church...that's where! More to come, stay tuned.

Crossing the Tiber, Part 3

I spent two years at Grace Fellowship. Most of that was spent participating on the worship team as auxilary percussion and Trumpet player. The size of Grace was over 3000 so we had three worship services each Sunday. I had a blast being on the worship team, lots of great musicians and singers. We played all the contemporary Christian hits of the day. But the church was just so big. It was hard to really meet people. My only friends were worship team members and since I was "the new guy" breaking into their clique was difficult. The preaching was based on pre-mill dispensational eschatology. Funny...they claimed to be non-denominational, but it really was Baptist.

I decided it was just too big for me and I wasn't really friends with anyone except on a superficial level (they were okay to keep it that way), so I decided to leave and find a smaller church. They worship team leader begged me to stay. I was only a value to them once I told them I was leaving.

My next stop was at Fellowhip Baptist Church. At the time I was a pre-mill dispensationalist and a Baptist church seemed the right fit. I was very involved with this church. I coordinated the worship music and taught College age Sunday school. I should mention at this point that from the WCG to Fellowship Baptist my understanding of eschatology was in flux. I could never come to terms with what I was being taught, especially with respect to pre-mill. dispensationalism. None of it added up with Scripture and seemed very convoluted. The more I studied the more I studied my way out of pre-mill. dispensationalism and more to the amill. position.

More to follow...

Crossing The Tiber, Part 2

I need to preface what led up to me leaving the Worldwide Church of God. The WCG was a legalistic faith, by that I mean a Jewish Old Testament faith with Christ as the Messiah. We were required to keep the Holy Feast days spoken of in Leviticus, Trumpets, Tabernacles, Atonement, Pentecost, Passover and so on to be saved. The biggest requirement was keeping the Sabbath, Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. Also we were required to Tithe 10% every year to the church, another 10% for ourselves to spent on the Feast of Tabernacles (basically this was our vacation) and every third year another 10% for the widows and orphans, so every third year 30% of our income went to the church. Needless to say this put a lot of people in financial trouble, including myself.

Through the years the WCG began to soften their stance on a lot of issues and went from a legalistic faith to a grace faith dropping all the requirements made by them for salvation, in essence we were now just like all the other Protestant churches. Thousands left the church over this. The only congregation of the WCG in this area was in Kingsport, TN the one I attended. We went from 375 strong to finally in the end 30. That congregation no longer exists as of this posting.

Because we were now just like the Protestants many left the church, not because of the changes but to go somewhere else much closer to their home. Before the changes people were driving from North Carolina and Virginia to go to church in Kingsport because it was the closest congregation. My family drove from Elizabethton every Saturday. Then the Kingsport congregation moved services to Sunday. That's when I left and I began looking for a new place to worship and wound up at Grace Fellowship Church in Johnson City. ....more to follow, stay tuned.